Aquire a Peaceful Spirit

I am sitting here in the quiet, reading some blogs. I love the ones with piano in the background. Makes me aware that God is here.

I read a new blog for the first time today. It is so, so beautiful. Written like a work of art. Here is the link: http://evlogiaonline.com/2011/01/12/how-to-really-raise-a-child-in-the-faith/.

What attracted me was the title: How To Really Raise a Child. Because you know me...always wanting to do things better. What I found when I got there is not what I expected. It was better than I expected. If you read it, you will know what I mean.

I had just been praying about my witness to other people. What am I really doing to help others know who Jesus is? I am troubled by this. So troubled. How am I different? Do I have a joy that makes Him shine and shows Him to other people?

I don't think so. Because I think that if I did, people would ask me about it. They would want it. You can't really see Jesus and not want Him. He is irresistible.

So this morning, I ask Him. As usual, not really expecting an answer. I pray for the people I am thinking of in particular, who really don't know Him at all. How do I love them without always having this "hidden" motive to change them? Because when I have that, and I'm trying to slip "God" into the conversation, I'm being manipulative. Forced. Controlling. That's not God's way. It doesn't even seem like love to me. And blah! I don't want to do it. I just feel like I "should"...or how else will they know?

Troubled, struggling, striving..... I habitually try first to figure it out.

Then, finally- tired- I pray.

I click on this blog, and the first words I see are these: "Acquire a Peaceful Spirit and Around You Thousands Will Be Saved".

I cried when I read it. My Father speaking to me, drawing me with His cords of loving kindness.

"Kirsten, hearts are for Me to change. They are for you to love."

It's not about what I do. It's just not. That used to be so frustrating to me- but the more I learn through the experiences of life and the commands in His Word- it is blessed relief. I cannot change them. Each must choose.

My job is to do the work on my own heart with Him. It is about who I am. It is Him in me. The more I am with Him, the more my mind is renewed by His Word, the more I obey without question in the little things of life, the more clearly I hear the voice of My Shepherd.

If I'm listening, He will tell me when it is time to speak. When speaking is the most loving thing for me to do. Because many times, it is not.

Until then, I will continue to learn to love with His love. I will pray for Him to do what only He can do.

And I will seek Him for a Spirit of Peace, that Thousands Around Me May Be Saved.

Merciful Father, grant them repentance!