The Rest of Fall

So, just to clarify, I don't mean rest as in 'restfulness', but as in 'completion'.

Restfulness...well, let's just say that is not the word I would use to describe these past few months.  Why, you ask?  Because at the end of October, right before Halloween, the Chadwick family of five moved in!

First, they had to get rid of all their "extra" stuff through a yard sale and Craig's List.  Then, they stored some things with a friend.  The rest came to our "terrace level apartment" as my mom lovingly called when she was here :)

 There's Jude and Ellison, heading down the steps to the their new place.

 Meiley and Bray were here to help unload.

 There's Beth and Asher, working hard!

 Pop Pop and Gigi McEntee even joined in the unloading.  (And of course Pop Pop stopped right in the middle of everything and HAD to vaccuum Beth's car.  I'm really glad he didn't see mine!)

 Almost done!

 Oh my, Asher.  You are SO CUTE.

 Meiley, Ellie and Jude posing!  Are they photogenic or what??

 Snowy came with Pop and Gigi that day.

  The Chadwicks are preparing to move to Austria to plant a church that is inviting like our church- a place where people actually want to come.  A place where they feel welcome, feel the freedom to ask questions, and hear the truth of God's love and redemption in Jesus.  They want to create that kind of environment for people, but do it in a way that will be for Austrians.  Obviously this will look different than our church in the States.  

You read more about the Chadwicks and what God is sending them to do here:  www.chadwicksinaustria.org.  I encourage you to check our their amazing story- it's awesome stuff!  

It's been a huge blessing having their family here.  I still remember sitting across from Beth at Chick-fil-a asking about where they were in the process, and where would they stay, and then asking her if maybe they would consider staying with us.  We had no idea of what was ahead!  

Wow, it's been a wild ride!  Even wilder for them than it has been for us.  After their first week here, they went for a week in Chicago for training, then left for DC to finalize their visas so they could send them...and don't forget about the day trip to South Carolina for some paperwork.  Not to mention adjusting to both parents being at home, trying to figure out how to have the best working relationship, and homeschooling Ellison and Jude.  I have seen firsthand that this kind of ministry is no small task!  To say they have a lot of balls in the air in an understatement.  And its not because of poor planning.  It's just reality of the season they are in as they prepare to leave.  They have handled it all with incredible poise and lots of prayer.  

We have loved every minute of their time here.  We know we will be really happy when they get their residence visas, because it will mean they are ready to actually leave...but we sure will miss them!  So in the meantime, we're just trying to enjoy it as much as we can.

People think we're a little crazy.  "They are still there?"  they say, with surprise in their voice.  They don't what they are missing, and the amazing things God is doing in our hearts and the hearts of our kids from all of us having to live in relatively close quarters for a long period.  God created us to live in community- it's one of the main ways He grows us to be more like Him.  He shines His light on places where we would rather not look.  He makes us rub up against each other, forcing us to reach for His grace. And then, He pours it out.  And does more than we could ask, think, or imagine.

Of course it doesn't hurt that the Chadwicks are very considerate, helpful around the house, and parent their kids with the same heart we do.  It doesn't hurt that we just plain like them and laugh a lot!

And yes, there are endless dishes and toys and making meals and cleaning up after meals and little arguments between strong personalities.  

And yes, there is a whole lot more....well....noise.  

Some days we are tired and cranky and easily irritated.

But....grace.

That is all I can say.  God's grace! It covers.  It really does.  I'm so thankful that He has given me this opportunity to really ask for it...and watch Him give it- over and over and over.    

I Heart Fall @Nelson Academy

Fall is my absolute favorite season.  The weather here in Hotlanta is finally cooling down.  Today was Friday, which is always a little more laid back than the rest of the week.  We finished up the necessities and headed outside on the front porch.  We brought out a little kid's table from the basement, our Handbook of Nature Study, magnifying glass, oil pastels, nature notebooks, and of course the girls brought their dolls and stuffed animals.     

We gathered some leaves from trees in our yard to color, and are in the process of choosing which tree we are each going to watch throughout the seasons.  We keep getting distracted and haven't actually chosen one yet.  We found one leaf with an insect's shedded skin on it.  It was like a little white skeleton.  We are going to take it the Nature Exchange at our Nature Center.  The kids earn points when they bring in things like this, and they use the points to buy other stuff, like rocks, shells, or animal teeth.   

We did our coloring with oil pastels.  It's the first time we used them.  I think regular crayons would have worked better for coloring leaves, but they will be great for other drawings.  The color shows up really well.  This is a kids' set I got from Dick Blick.  

You can see the three trees right in front of our house.  Two are pines, and I think the other is a white or live oak.  While the girls went off and played, I sat and sketched my front yard.  I wanted to write out the names of each tree for future reference and include a picture of their leaves.  The girls saw me doing that in my own nature journal, and then wanted to come back and draw some more on their own.  I love that!  I love doing things in my nature journal, but I so easily get caught up in just doing things to prepare them to do an activity that I often don't take time to do it myself, even though I enjoy it.  I realized again today, though, that the best way to get my kids interested in nature study is to be interested in it myself.  And I am!  I will admit I'm a little intimidated because I grew up knowing so little about nature (hence not knowing what trees are in my front yard...).  I was outside all the time, though, and I loved it!  Now I get to share that love with them, and they get to learn while they are at it.


We used our field guide for trees to figure out which leaf went with each tree.  Evie traced her leaves and colored them.  Kylie just drew hers.  I laid a page on top of my leaf and shaded it.  As I said, I would suggest crayons for this in the future.

It was a fun day had by all.  One of those days I am really grateful we get to do this homeschool thing!

A New Grip

I was flipping around on blogs the other day (somehow I got off track from the email I was intending to respond to...Dear Jesus please teach me how to be a mom and focus on one thing at a time...), and I came to A Path Made Straight, by Elise, here.  I really like this blog, and the verse she uses as the theme really caught my eye:

"So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees!  

Make out a straight path for your feet 

so that those who are weak and lame 

will not fall but become strong."

 Hebrews 12:12-13 NLT

I love this verse, and I had never seen it in the New Living Translation before.  And I so needed it that particular day.

Why, you may ask?

Because I was tired of doing dishes.  Again.  Tired of mediating arguments.  Tired of constantly confronting selfishness and unkindness.  Tired of little girls crying over what I felt were very small, insignificant things.  Tired of always thinking about what the next meal would be.  Tired of looking at my kitchen floor and it's plethora of dog hair and that sticky spot I just stepped on.

Daily life was feeling a lil' bit meaningless.  Without purpose.    

"So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees!"  

A new grip.  I needed a new grip.  I needed to let go, wipe the sweat and dirt off my hands, and  refresh my grip.  This was not the time to give up.  

A new grip on why I am doing this.  Why am I staying at home?  Why did our family choose to homeschool?  Do all these little things really even matter?  Do they even make a difference?  

I take a "new grip".  I grasp again my purpose here.  I hold it and look at it, re-focusing my eyes and my heart on what He is calling me to do.

I see the incredible, and at the same time frightening, potential for influence in the lives of my girls.

For a moment, I feel its heavy weight.  Then, I remember with relief that He never asked me to bear it alone.

That said, it is my responsibility to hold it with Him.  I am accountable for my part in these little lives.  

And I see so clearly that it does matter....it all matters!

It was like God gave me a little "snap out of it!" slap on the head.


Make out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall, but become strong.


These two little souls are depending on me.  They are depending on me to know how to be strong.      


This may sound dramatic.  But I am finding that it cannot be overstated.  I think in our world and in our culture today, we have been so diligently trained to develop ourselves as individuals that we literally (and conveniently) forget how our actions impact others.  We choose not to remember that we are responsible for that impact.  I can throw no stones here...I do it too.  The truth is, I am not just an individual on an island and sometimes I don't like that.


I am responsible for my influence on these children, and anyone else my life touches, for that matter.

Peter was inspired to write that we have everything we need for life and godliness.  If God put that in His Word, then it's true.  I have everything I need.  But I have to ask Him.  I have to seek.  I have to follow and obey.

And when I lose sight, which I will, I need to get a new grip.  To stay the course.  To not grow weary of well-doing.  

These two little people who spend all day, every day with me are watching everything I do.  
Even if they don't realize it, they are learning how life is supposed to be lived... from me.

They see how I talk to my husband, how I talk to them, and even how I talk to my dog.

 They see how I treat my own parents.

They see how I navigate my relationships with friends and neighbors.

They see how I handle my own sin and imperfection.  They see how I handle theirs.  They see me at my worst moments and my shining moments.

When they think about how to walk with God through these Shadowlands, they will picture me and their Daddy.  They will try and do it like we did.

They see all of it, and they are taking it all in whether they want to or not. 


A little frightening?  Yes, I know!  Thankfully, God promises that if we are walking with Him, His grace makes up for what we miss.  

Keeping the sink cleaned out at the right times shows my girls diligence.  When I do it without complaining it shows them how to be content in all things, and that work can be joyful and does not have to be drudgery.  It demonstrates the power of doing all things unto the Lord, and the joy found there.

And sometimes, leaving that pile of dishes in the sink so I can sit down and play with them shows that they are a priority over things.  That they are more important than my list.  This is so hard for me.  But it matters that I do this.  It speaks volumes.  

What about the selfishness?  I mean, do I really have to deal with it every time?

My 'new grip' says that every time I hear one of my girls giving in to selfishness, it is an opportunity, not an annoyance or an inconvenience.


It reminds me that this is the whole point I am here....to teach and train and direct and gently nudge... and sometimes give a firm push.  

As I remember this, my perspective shifts.  I can honestly say thank You to God for giving me another opportunity to teach my girls that selfishness is a prison.  Selfish people end up very lonely, and very unhappy.  (Can I just quietly mention the irony of the fact that when I don't feel like dealing with their selfishness, it's because of my own selfishness.  Apple.  Tree.  Jesus, help us.)

I am able to see that it is a holy privilege to be the one who gets to teach them how seek forgiveness, give forgiveness, and ask God to help them live His way.  I get to give them the chance to "try again", and see what it feels like to think of others first.

They get to experience the rewards of doing life His way...and in that they get to experience Him.  And isn't that the whole point?

Although our words and what we directly teach our children are important and should be done intentionally, they are not what most determines their future path.

It is not words.  It is not teaching.

It is who we are.  


More of Him, less of me.   


Let us, who have been given the privilege of raising this next generation, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty strength!   Let us get a new grip with our tired hands, strengthen our weak knees, and make a straight path for our feet.  It is God's way to teach the next generation to do the same.

It is the way these young ones, who come to us weak and lame, do not fall,
but become strong.

Only One Life, 'twill Soon Be Past...

I love this beautiful poem!  May it resonate with you today!  May it bless you with an awareness of His Presence.  May we reflect His precious glory and lay down seeking our own.  

“Two little lines I heard one day,

Traveling along life’s busy way;

Bringing conviction to my heart,

And from my mind would not depart;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one,

Soon will its fleeting hours be done;

Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet,

And stand before His Judgement seat;

Only one life,’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice,

Gently pleads for a better choice

Bidding me selfish aims to leave,

And to God’s holy will to cleave;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years,

Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;

Each with its clays I must fulfill,

living for self or in His will;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore,

When Satan would a victory score;

When self would seek to have its way,

Then help me Lord with joy to say;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep,

In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;

Faithful and true what e’er the strife,

Pleasing Thee in my daily life;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn,

And from the world now let me turn;

Living for Thee, and Thee alone,

Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;

Only one life, “twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one,

Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;

And when at last I’ll hear the call,

I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;

Only one life,’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last. 

And when I am dying, how happy I’ll be,

If the lamp of my life has been burned out for Thee.”

C.T Studd

May you walk hand in hand with the King this day. 

Love- Kirsten

The Heart of the Author

I love to read.  I am reading all the time, and usually have several books going at once.

My husband likes to read, too.  Sometimes we joke because he reads “slower” than me, and I finish books quickly.  

I used to, in the quiet of my heart, be kind of proud of this.  Ouch.  

But then, I discovered that when he reads, he remembers everything.  Seriously.  The man is a sponge.  He takes in the overarching, big picture message the writer is trying to communicate.  When you ask me what I read, I remember a lot of details, but not necessarily the author's central point and reason for writing.  

We were talking the other day about some friends of ours who are not followers of Christ.  I was noticing how similar we are to them.  I was troubled by it.  Actually, I think the woman in this pair does WAY more good works than me.  In truth, she is more sincere about being good than I am.  I was troubled by this, and asking my husband, “What makes us really different?  We look so much the same!  Shouldn’t we look obviously different?”

He just looked at me for a minute, seemingly puzzled by my mounting distress.  Then he said, “Honey, they are really good people.  But being a good person doesn’t get you into heaven.  We believe in Jesus as our Savior, and they don’t.”  

I love this man.  

I have spent way more time in my Bible, studying and praying and writing than he has.  But I had missed the heart of the Author.   

“Where is the wise man?  Where is the scholar?  Where is the philosopher of this age?  Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?... Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to the Gentiles...For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.”  1 Corinthians 1:20, 22-23

Appearances are deceiving.  Only God knows the heart.  My heart is new, and not because of anything I have done.  It is different because of what He did for me.  

“This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.  There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ...For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law.”  Romans 3:22-24, 28

I could not earn it then, and I cannot earn it now.     

My works done in my human energy and with the motivation to “look different” on my own are like filthy rags to Him.  They are wasted energy.   

He just wants me to love Him, and let Him love me.  That’s where being able to love other people... really love them... begins.  

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  Matthew 22:37-38

The ‘being different’ will happen as a matter of course, as the abundance of His love overflows.  Day by day, piece by piece.  I can’t explain this, and I can’t predict how it will look.  But, I can humble myself by laying down my picture of how things are supposed to look, in deference to His, which is always, always better.  And I can honor Him by resting in this Truth.   

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His Power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen.”  Ephesians 3:20-21

A relationship, not a to-do list.  

A Guide, not a map.    

Do It Again!

"Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged.  They always says, “Do it again!” and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead.  

For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. 

But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony.  It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again!” to the sun, and every evening, “Do it again!” to the moon. 

It may not be automatic necessity that makes all the daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them.  

It may be that He has an eternal appetite for infancy...

for we have sinned and grown old 

and our father is younger than we. "

GK Chesterton

I thought this was a great quote to share, because truthfully I've been an old, ungrateful, cranky, adult frump today.   

Yes, I can truly say that all those adjectives apply.  

Cranky with laughing children, fussing at them for not saying things "right" or asking me "too many questions".   Cranky with a barking dog who doesn't ask for much.....she just wants me to throw the ball...a million times please.  Cranky with the daily mundane of dishes and laundry and dishes and toilets and a dirty, cluttered car and did I mention dishes?  

My eyes took more notice in what was wrong than what was right.  My heart meditated on all my "problems".  

As I stood in the kitchen tonight preparing dinner, I felt the burden of this very long day finally begin to melt.  The absolute miracle of this was very evident to me in that moment, because I literally spent an entire day sputtering out teeth-gritting prayers for help and a change of mind and heart and eyes to see... while I simultaneously bit back a flood of angry, bitter words.  

I could hold back the words.  It was not easy, but I could do it.  But I cannot change the heart from whence they come.  I am powerless to do this.  But He is not.  Not only that, but He is willing.  And He is able.  

I could feel it right then, the kindness of that drastic change from burdening heaviness to trusting lightness.  It was so drastic that it left any doubt that I had done it.  

He could have just yelled at me for being ungrateful.  But He didn't.  He could have just forgiven me, but then left me there to rot in the misery of the attitude I had chosen.  But He didn't.   

And I realized.  It's all a gift.  It really is all a gift.  The fact that His goal is always love, always to restore.  It's never to win, never to "be right".  The fact that because of that love- a love that He gave and continues to give because He wants to- I can recover from a day like today, be forgiven, and begin again.  

 

"Do it again!"  I beg.  And He does.  He delights in my turning, and pours out His healing grace on my self-inflicted wounds.     

Previously frumpy, cranky adult signing out.  

Wise Words

We were cleaning out cabinets, and found one of my favorite books that I thought I had lost.  A friend sent me "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer back in 2007.  If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.  It's one of those you go back to over and over.

I love this line written about Tozer's legacy (I don't know who wrote it):  "Quietness of the soul, the fruit of truly seeking God, is seldom found in twentieth-century Christians.  Far too many have come to accept turbulence of soul as the norm and have ceased to seek God with their whole hearts."

I think we all do this.  We think that this fast-pace is "just the way it is", so we surrender to it.  We do not realize the cost of such thinking, and what it robs from us.  It's the way everyone else does it, and it's the cultural norm to do all you possibly can, to work harder, longer.  It's rewarded and encouraged.

But it's also exhausting.  It drains us and steals our lives.

As God has called our family to a slower pace of living in our current season, I often struggle against this, wondering if we are "doing enough".  

Our time is a gift from God.  Every minute, every second is from Him.  He expects us to be stewards of this gift with purpose and intention.  The only way we can know how to best steward the time He gives us is to ask Him.  He really wants us to know!  In this world, especially in the dizzying busyness and noise of our American culture, it is like we are out in the wilderness, trying aimlessly to find our way through.  Things come at us so fast we are just trying to keep up.

God knows the way through the wilderness.  He can see things we can't.  Things are not as they seem.  We do not realize that the only way to really "work smarter" is to let Him lead.  

I think part of the reason we do this- at least I know this is true for me- is that we are afraid of what He will ask us to do.


We must move past this faulty thinking.

We must trust what God's Word says- that He created us in love, that He saved us because He wanted to.  He knows the best, most fulfilling life for us.  It's like we're a hammer trying to be a wrench.  We are created for God's glory, not our own.  But here is the thing about this truth that I often forget- if we were created for God's glory, and it's the way we were designed to live by our Creator, of course it is where we will find the most fulfillment.  We are created to love Him and be loved by Him.  He has so much He wants to give us!

I know that for many years I thought going this route would make my life less fun.  I had, and still have at times,  a condition one of my friends calls ATMS:  Afraid to Miss Something.  What I am learning is that although there are many "good" ways to spend my time- ways that look really good- God has a "best" way for each day and each season.  And His ways are much less tiring!  Do you know how awesome it is to focus on one thing at a time?  Who knew?    
        
"Perhaps the continued usefulness of this book (The Pursuit of God) can be attributed to the writer's discovery that to seek God does not narrow one's life, but brings it, rather, to it's highest possible fulfillment." 


I have found this statement to be true.  Each day I have remind myself that God loves me and wants the best for me.  He wants that for you, too.  Trust that He knows the way and wants to show you.  He yearns for us to walk our days with Him, covered by His love and led by His Spirit.