Do It Again!

"Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged.  They always says, “Do it again!” and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead.  

For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. 

But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony.  It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again!” to the sun, and every evening, “Do it again!” to the moon. 

It may not be automatic necessity that makes all the daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them.  

It may be that He has an eternal appetite for infancy...

for we have sinned and grown old 

and our father is younger than we. "

GK Chesterton

I thought this was a great quote to share, because truthfully I've been an old, ungrateful, cranky, adult frump today.   

Yes, I can truly say that all those adjectives apply.  

Cranky with laughing children, fussing at them for not saying things "right" or asking me "too many questions".   Cranky with a barking dog who doesn't ask for much.....she just wants me to throw the ball...a million times please.  Cranky with the daily mundane of dishes and laundry and dishes and toilets and a dirty, cluttered car and did I mention dishes?  

My eyes took more notice in what was wrong than what was right.  My heart meditated on all my "problems".  

As I stood in the kitchen tonight preparing dinner, I felt the burden of this very long day finally begin to melt.  The absolute miracle of this was very evident to me in that moment, because I literally spent an entire day sputtering out teeth-gritting prayers for help and a change of mind and heart and eyes to see... while I simultaneously bit back a flood of angry, bitter words.  

I could hold back the words.  It was not easy, but I could do it.  But I cannot change the heart from whence they come.  I am powerless to do this.  But He is not.  Not only that, but He is willing.  And He is able.  

I could feel it right then, the kindness of that drastic change from burdening heaviness to trusting lightness.  It was so drastic that it left any doubt that I had done it.  

He could have just yelled at me for being ungrateful.  But He didn't.  He could have just forgiven me, but then left me there to rot in the misery of the attitude I had chosen.  But He didn't.   

And I realized.  It's all a gift.  It really is all a gift.  The fact that His goal is always love, always to restore.  It's never to win, never to "be right".  The fact that because of that love- a love that He gave and continues to give because He wants to- I can recover from a day like today, be forgiven, and begin again.  

 

"Do it again!"  I beg.  And He does.  He delights in my turning, and pours out His healing grace on my self-inflicted wounds.     

Previously frumpy, cranky adult signing out.